LJ Idol Week 34: (quick fire) Open topic

[jexia]

I found half a magic wand today. Mum said it was just a stick, that there's no such thing as magic, but I saw something sparkling in the middle of it, where it's all broken. Maybe it's unicorn hair. Maybe it's a phoenix feather.

Mum told me to put it down, but it's mine. When she wasn't looking, I put it in my pocket and took it home.

When Mum started cooking dinner, I went out in the garden and tried to do magic with my half-a-wand. I said "Abracadabra!" but nothing happened. I said "Wingardium leviosa!" like they do in the movie, and pointed it at the cat, but nothing happened. The cat ran away, but she wasn't flying.

Then I looked at my wand. It was definitely sparkly. I poked at the end but I couldn't get the sparkle out. It made a little noise, though, sort of a bzzzt.

I thought very hard. Maybe the wand didn't understand big magic words? Maybe it was like the nice old lady on the bus. You have to talk slowly and use little words or she doesn't understand. I pointed it at the clothesline and said, "Candy!"

The wand went bzzzt.

And the clothesline was gone. But there wasn't any candy.

Just a can of beans.

"HOLY COW!" someone shouted, and I got a fright. It was my big brother Andy. He's okay. He can be a bit mean sometimes, but he's nice to me when Daddy comes home. I call him my biiig brother because he's so tall. Mum says he's growing. He looks kind of funny with his skinny long legs.

He yelled at me again. "What did you DO?!"

"I don't know!" I said.

He said Mum was going to be mad, and he said I was a "stupid head". So I called him "froglegs". He hates that.

Bzzzt.

Andy was gone. And there was a big green frog, looking at me with big eyes, and legs all long and sticking out just like Andy.

I nearly cried. Dad would be so mad at me. He might get his belt again. I had to fix Andy! But I didn't know how.

So I thought and I thought and I thought. I said "candy" and I got a can. I said "froglegs" and I got a frog. Maybe my half-a-wand only did half-magic?

Then I thought and thought some more. And I wondered if maybe I said "boyfriend" it would turn Andy back to a boy? It was a bit scary because I didn't want to have a frog for a boyfriend, but I didn't know what else to do. So I said "boyfriend", and it worked! Andy turned back to a boy!

He was a bit scared so I gave him a big hug. And then I told him all about the magic wand and how it only did half a word. I showed him the sparkly bit at the end. He was looking at it when Mum called us to come and have dinner, and he put it in his pocket. I tried to get it back off him but he said no.

Mum tried to get us to eat dinner quickly and go to bed before Dad got home. We tried, but we weren't quick enough. Dad came home and he was all loud, and he smelled like the funny drink he keeps in the cupboard. He yelled at Mum, and then he yelled at Andy.

Andy and I usually go hide when Dad starts to yell. Or we just sit and be as quiet as we can. So it was funny that Andy stood up and said "Stop." Dad got even madder and he yelled some more, and he he started to take his belt off.

Andy told me to close my eyes and keep them closed. I didn't want to see Dad hit him, so I squished them all closed like this. And then Andy said "Deadbolt", which was a funny thing to say. That's the special lock that Mum got put on the door when Dad went away for a while but then he came back and broke it. And I heard a bzzzt.

Is Andy in trouble, Mr Policeman? And can I have a sandwich? I didn't get to eat all my dinner.

Comments

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

And the clothesline was gone. But there wasn't any candy.

Just a can of beans.

This piece was so delightful, and it's for reasons like this. It just kept twisting and turning, all the way to that ending, which I think I enjoyed emotionally a little more than I should have.

But what really make me fall in love was the perfect innocent-little-kid voice contained therein, as in here:
It was my big brother Andy. He's okay. He can be a bit mean sometimes, but he's nice to me when Daddy comes home.

And especially here:
Dad came home and he was all loud, and he smelled like the funny drink he keeps in the cupboard.

And that's what made deadbolt so damned satisfying.

[jexia]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

I have to be pretty careful with Dads, because I can paint them a little more negatively than required, but this one felt good.

[hikerpoet.livejournal.com]

Yes, you do a child's voice/characterization extremely well, and those have been my favorite ones you've posted.

[jexia]

Thank you!

I can do children's prattling because that's all I ever hear, endlessly endlessly on and on.

[hikerpoet.livejournal.com]

I can relate to that one, lol.

That's one thing I've always liked about Stephen King, as well. People tend to love him or hate him from a literature point of view, but I think he's strong on characters--being able to write a huge variety of them convincingly, including children, which is tricky and rare. I guess he did have a couple of wee ones, too!

[jexia]

I think of him every time I sit down to write. Specifically, the absolute perfection of "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." Imagine writing an opening sentence like that.

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

What a sad but satisfying child fantasy piece! Nicely done! I loved the inventiveness of the "half a wand" spells!

[jexia]

Thanks so much! :)

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

oh my god, the ending. the little-kid voice is really consistent and amazing, the way she (i assume it's a she, because of the boyfriend comment) notices things but doesn't understand them. also? i love that she tried wingardium leviosa on the cat. hee.

[jexia]

This reaction makes me happy ^.^

[jexia]

And I had pictured a "she" but I guess it doesn't have to be!

[emsporter.livejournal.com]

Fascinating, because something of the characterisation screamed "small boy" to me.

[jexia]

Arrrgh, I had a thought but it's too late to edit.


NOTE TO SELF: if you edit, add her trying "cowboy" to turn her brother back, and Andy turning into a cow, before coming up with "boyfriend".


This is the problem with quick fire ;)

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

This was adorable, and I loved the homage to Harry Potter, lol!

[jexia]

ICONS FOR EVERYTHING

[jexia]

And thanks :)

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Aw, that poor kid! Even if their Dad has problems that affect them all, I'm sure they wouldn't want him dead.

I liked the cleverness of this, and the half-spells being all the wand could produce. :)

[jexia]

I don't know; crappy dads have a way of hurting you right to your core.

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

This is a remarkable voice for a wonderful piece, and I think that dad got exactly what he deserved.

[jexia]

Thank you so much! Very glad it was good enough to get me immunity, given how it all shook out :/

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

I don't know that you would have had any trouble without immunity, honestly. I am sure a few people voted differently with that situation in mind. Still, didn't hurt.

[jexia]

Hrm, maybe. Too late to worry about it now! Onto the next round!

...although it's 2:30am and I have to get up in four hours. So I might miss quick fire this time around.