ext_15345 ([identity profile] rattsu.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] jexia 2014-12-15 11:27 pm (UTC)

Somehow it feels like you know far too much about how these things work ;)

I really liked this piece, but I wonder if it wouldn't be a cooler opening if you switched places on the first and second paragraph? Opening with the "You wouldn't expect to find a demon in a birthing unit" sucks you in a lot better than general exposition, because you immediately wonder wtf.

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